My First Christmas Eve – All Alone

Of course people invited me, but I had the urge to do this by myself.

The morning started late, I love sleeping in. The first message I read wasn’t a nice one. The guy I had been dating with wrote that he didn’t have that ‘wow’ feeling with me. Well, I didn’t have that either yet, but in my opinion that feeling can grow. I did find him interesting, good looking too. It’s pretty rare for me to have good conversations with guys. A lot of them are too shallow for me. But then again, writing this in a text message immediately took all my ‘maybe wow feelings’ away. At least be man enough to call me…or tell it to me in my face.

I wasn’t very upset. I hadn’t torn down my wall yet, which was a good thing. Don’t get me wrong, I did do something to me, I am not an ice queen, but I wasn’t heartbroken.

I decided it was going to be MY day. I would do exactly what I wanted and needed. So when my mom called me to ask if I wanted to go shop for new floors, I doubted. I really needed to buy floors for my new home… I said yes at first, my mom can be pretty persuasive, but later on I let her know I didn’t want to do it today.

I went out for a long walk with my dog. She’s the sweetest. While walking I cleared my head. I watched La Casa De Papel on Netflix and then I decided it was time to do some much needed groceries.

I also put Tinder back on my phone, and the chatting started again. It was soothing to find out there are still enough nice, smart, good looking men out there.

Then it hit me, I was spending my first Christmas Eve all by myself.

I didn’t feel sorry for myself (well, maybe a minute or so), but I decided to look at it differently: at least I wasn’t sitting on the couch next to someone who was pretending to love me, like last year.

3 gedachten over “My First Christmas Eve – All Alone

  1. Hi Annemarie,

    I really like your new blog. As someone from the netherlands, I enjoy reading your view on the american society as a dutch alien.

    Now something typical dutch (unwanted advice): In order to improve the readability of your page, I would suggest that you change the color scheme a bit. Reading black text on a brownish background isn’t that pleasant 😉 I also found one spelling error… A lot of them are to shallow –> too.

    Hopefully your christmas turns out pretty nicely, being alone can be a pleasant experience from time to time.



    1. Hi Bas,
      Bedankt voor je reactie. Een vriendin van mij zei ook al dat het slecht te lezen was, dus heb ik de achtergrond kleur aangepast. Beter zo?
      En bedankt voor het vinden van mijn spelfout! Ik zal er elke keer 1 in doen, dan heb je wat te speuren.
      Lieve groet, Annemarie


  2. Hello, Annemarie. Happy Christmas and congratulations on your new blog. I like it very much. I spent my first Christmas Eve and Christmas without both of my parents, so I did it quietly and did what I needed to do to be comfortable: Church, naps and writing. Today, back to the library to write more e-mails and my own blog. I’m glad I found your new blog. I may even pick up more Dutch by using the translate button. Weel liefs, Margaret


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